So...tonight, once again I'm in a blogging mood. I just got back from the prayer movement at the prayer tower...and it was amazing. It was...wow...God was moving. I've had a lot of things on my heart the past few days, so this blog may be a compilation of the crazy things God has been speaking to me...But I hope that you enjoy it and are pushed closer to the heart of God.
This week has been a tough week. I've had a lot of things on my heart and have been realizing some very important Kingdom truths. I've been reflecting on my time here at ORU up to this point, and to be honest with you, I'm disappointed. And I know that probably sounds weird coming from me...if you know anything about how much I love ORU...But...it's not so much ORU that has disappointed me. It's myself...These past few weeks have been some of the toughest I've ever had to go through. I've had a chance this week to experience reckless abandonment to Jesus.
If you've never been at that place before, it's an interesting and extremely humbling place to be. It's a place that is uncomfortable...and it's very revealing. As I look back over the past four months, I can see things that I didn't see at the time. I can see myself being pulled and stretched. I can see very genuine moments, but I can also see very inauthentic ones....But...all of this is not the point of me choosing to blog tonight. I wanted to blog tonight to somehow try and express how sovereign and how good our God is. It's at that place of reckless abandonment to Jesus that His voice begins to invade the darkest areas of your heart.
Tonight at prayer movement, we were singing a song, and we sang these words: "Hallelujah...You have won the victory...Hallelujah...You have won it all for me. Death could not hold You down...You are the risen King...seated in majesty...You are the risen King!" For some reason these words penetrated my heart and have continued to minister to me since I heard them. As I heard those words, I wondered if we even knew what we were saying. I felt God's gentle whisper on my heart revealing His truth to me. So many times we go through tough circumstances and painful situations only to be left broken and hurting. So many times, the enemy attacks, and leaves us broken and bleeding before we even realize that we've been attacked. But...it doesn't change the fact that God is still God. It doesn't change the fact that God loves us more than anything. It doesn't change the fact that God has won the victory. No matter what we go through...No matter how many times we get hurt...No matter how unfair life gets...God has won the victory! And...He not only won the victory...BUT He won it ALL FOR US!
As I look back over my past four months, I can see the distractions of the enemy...the ridiculous lies...the fruitless pursuits...the insincerity...And...that is why I am disappointed. Because God is so much bigger than all of that! God is so much bigger than anything that we think is big. He is so much bigger than brokenness...than pain...than fear...than disappointment. Our God is greater than all of that! And...the major thing that He has been speaking to me the past few days is that it's all about Him. I can feel Him even now saying, "Joe, It's all about me. Every breath...every moment...It's all about me. I have called you to run after me with your whole heart. I have called you to lay aside every weight and every distraction because I care about you. I love you so much, and I want to have such a close relationship with you that nothing else can get in the way. I am so jealous for your heart..."
You see...God isn't concerned with the amount of friends we have...our popularity or status...our worldly pursuits...He's not. That's tough to hear sometimes and it's totally contrary to what the world wants us to think. The truth is...if we're not getting closer to His heart...If we're not experiencing daily, passionate communion with Jesus, everything else will fall apart. If we think that we can do anything that we want and then put on a nice face and pretend that our relationship with God is our very top priority, we are going to be awakened by the truth and sovereignty of God very fast. One thing that God spoke to me the other day was, "Joe, if I'm not in it (whatever "it" represents to you) get out of it. I want you to be where I am. I want you to chase after my heart so much that every distraction along the way is knocked down in your pursuit of Me...Don't think that I can't remove things from your life to get your relationship with me where it needs to be..." God doesn't allow us to play games with our relationship with Him or with the people that He has placed into our lives. He doesn't allow us to keep one foot in the world and one foot in His Kingdom. Sometimes it hurts when things are ripped out of your life that you once held on to...But...if those things are keeping you from getting closer to God whether it's your fault or not, you don't want them there anyways...God is looking for a church who is willing to stand bold for Him. He's looking for righteous men and women, who aren't concerned with every facet of the world...but look only to Him...who place their trust in Him and His word.
And...I have to tell you that looking back over the past four months, I've missed it. Even with the situation that has been happening with me lately...I have been so wrapped up in the situation and the pain that I let the enemy take me to a place that I was never supposed to be. God is God! He is bigger than everything that we go through. We are on this earth for Him and Him alone. I feel this really deeply tonight...and I hope some of you are getting this with me. We serve a matchless God...a God who reigns over every nation on this planet. He reigns over our lives and ultimately over the whole planet. He reigns over every emotion and every desire...He deserves our pursuit and worship. And...seriously, everything else is just extra. Every friendship...every relationship...every possession...every idea...everything else...is subject to His authority and His reign in our lives. And...there's nothing wrong with those things, but when they come before our relationship with Him, they have to be removed...There is nothing that is hidden from His gaze. We can never fool God...He sees every heart and every motive...and it breaks His heart when we constantly long for other things besides Him.
So...in just wrapping this up...God has greater things planned for you than you could even begin to imagine. He has a future and a purpose for you so great that if He told you in one setting, you wouldn't be able to contain yourself. The exciting part of all of this is that....It is possible to run after God is all of your heart. It IS possible to lay aside every weight and sin that is holding you back. You have been placed on this planet...exactly where you are right now to advance the Kingdom of God...to bring glory and honor to His name. And...that is so exciting! :) Because, it doesn't mean that trials will never come or that pain will never affect you. It simply means that the essential part of your being...your whole heart...is running after God and His heart. When pain happens...allow it to push you deeper into the arms of God. When people hurt you...allow that hurt to push you closer to God's heart for you...When the enemy attacks you and leaves you hurt and broken...remind him that God has already won the victory over him and that Jesus is the Ruler of your life...:) God is able...and He is faithful! :)
I know this was intense...but I hope you can see my heart...:) It's definitely something I'm walking through with God.
Love you guys,
-Joe
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