The Pain and Necessity of Consecration

Hey Everyone! Hope you had an amazing Christmas and are having a great New Year's Eve. As many of you know who have read any of my blogs or notes before...I like to share my heart regarding things God is doing in my life...but more importantly than me sharing and expressing my heart...I want my blogs to be a source of encouragement for you. I want to somehow through the words that I share...minister to your hearts...as God ministers to mine. So...tonight, I just want to be really transparent with you regarding the things God is doing in my heart...I want to take a glance back over 2010 and allow God to speak regarding that. There's a blog coming soon about what I feel the Lord has said about 2011, but first I feel as though I need to share this...I'd like to share with you a couple of the things God has placed on my heart the past few weeks. So...just bare with me as I do my best to allow the Holy Spirit to minister to all of us as I type tonight in whatever way He decides to do that...:)

There has been a song on my heart the past couple of weeks that I knew God wanted me to put in this note.  I wasn't really sure why I needed to include it until tonight...but I just felt God telling me that this was to be included in this blog. It's a song called "You are More" by a band called Tenth Avenue North that has been playing on Christian radio a lot recently. The words to the chorus of the song say..."You are more than the choices that you've made...You are more than the sum of your past mistakes...You are more than the problems you create...You've been remade..." Man...how awesome are these words!? This song is so encouraging, and it wasn't until tonight that I felt like I heard exactly why I needed to share it. It's actually ministered to me so much the past week, and I want to share honestly...the things on my heart regarding the song and maybe encourage you a little bit. 

I wrote a blog at the very beginning of this year about the year 2010...and how I believed that 2010 was going to be a year of victory...victory over sins...over past failures...over everything the enemy wanted to destroy us with. I also mentioned that it was the year of new beginnings...new friendships built by God...new hope...among many other things...And...I believe with all of my heart...2010 was the year of victory for me. I believe that there were moments that weren't victorious...but I think that God confirmed His word, and victory was experienced in many areas of my life. I hope that you were victorious in many areas as you went after God with all of your heart too. :) But...the reason why I'm writing tonight is just to encourage you about those areas that may have not been so victorious. I think the biggest thing the enemy wants to do sometimes is get us so focused on our mistakes and our failures. If he can get us focused on areas where we weren't "more than conquerors..." or areas where we didn't feel like an overcomer...he can slowly make us believe that we can't conqueror or overcome anything. He then makes us believe that we aren't conquerors at all. And...I've felt the enemy time and time again the past couple of months and especially the past few weeks try to bombard my heart with reminders of past failures...of mistakes...of disappointments. And...the words of that song are so true. If there's one thing the enemy doesn't want us to hear or get down deep into our hearts...it's the words to that song. Because the truth is...You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the problems you create...No matter what happened in 2010...no matter how many stupid choices you made...no matter how many times you felt like a failure...no matter how many times everything around you looked like it was laying in ruins...You are not a failure. You have been remade...The bridge to the song says, "This is not about what you've done...but what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been...but where your brokenness leads you to....This is not about what you feel...but what He felt to forgive you...And what He felt to make you loved..." Man...I love that! I'll come back to that in a minute.

If you've been reading any of my blogs the past month...you know that God has been taking me through a journey...of trusting Him above everything else. I've been going through something that has been painful at times...and has been very confusing. If you'd like to know more about that...you can read a couple of my previous blogs...but that's not what tonight is about. The only reason why I mentioned the process is to give you a picture of what I was talking about above. Throughout this process of trusting God and looking over the past couple of months...looking at relationships that meant so much to me at one time that have ended...looking at my choices and things that I put in front of my relationship with God...This has been a time that God has really spoken to me powerfully about who He is through all of that. What I want to try to express to you tonight...(And...I'm not doing a very good job)...is that whatever areas that you failed in...there is hope. Don't let the enemy tell you that you are a failure. Don't let your present circumstances...or your situations dictate the amount of faith you have in the healing power of Jesus. One other thing that I feel led to share is that the enemy's favorite tactic is to play with your emotions...Don't let your emotions dictate the way you act or the way you respond to God. 

I think there's a dangerous line between brushing off the past and forgetting about it...and brushing off the past and letting it propel you into a journey of healing which will place you closer to God's heart. I understand that there are times that it's easier to just forget. It's easier to simply brush off failed relationships...bad decisions...repetitive sins...and other negative aspects of your life. Sometimes it's easier to just brush it off and pretend it didn't happen. And...I think that the enemy wants us to do that because there's no growth there...But the thing that God has been speaking to me recently is that there's "power in the process" of healing from those things. Please don't misunderstand me...It's not ok to continually dwell on past mistakes...to hold onto past failures and disappointments so much so that they keep you from getting closer to God...But...something that God has been speaking to me recently...and this may sound really intense and make you stop and think...but I felt like God told me the other day..."Sometimes Joe...you don't get the luxury of brushing all of that off of your shoulder and forgetting about it...There's a journey that's waiting for you in healing from past mistakes...and failures...And, it's not that you hold on to them...It's not that you don't give them to Me and let go...But...in order to become the consecrated vessel that I have called you to be...We're going to have to go on a journey where I teach to some things here. There's some things that you have to learn from this...And forgetting about it demeans the sacredness of it." And...maybe that sounds weird to you...Maybe it doesn't really fit into your grid of the "loving...compassionate...never-step-on-your-toes Jesus"...But...remember...God loves you so much that He's willing to tell you what you need to hear even when you don't want to hear it. We serve the God who's name is Love...but His love also compelled Him to walk into the temple and turn over tables when defilement, injustice, and idolatry were present. So...there is a definite line between brushing something off of your shoulders...never to think about it again...and brushing something off of your shoulders and giving it to God...then allowing Him to take you on a healing journey of consecration and total surrender to Him. 

I can tell you with the things that God has been doing with me recently...It's not an easy journey. Maybe you're looking over 2010 and thinking, "Man...if I choose to go on that journey with God...If I choose to open up my heart and allow God to see all of that negative...yucky...stuff...I'm afraid of what He may say." I just want to encourage you a little bit...If there's one thing that I've learned the past couple of months...It's that God desires honestly more than He does us trying to keep things from Him. Nothing is never really hidden from Him anyways...He sees your heart...He sees your intentions and your motives...and no amount of fakeness is going to cause Him to not see that. We can't really hide anything from Him in the first place...So...I want to encourage you tonight...Be honest with the Lord...Choose to go on that journey. Choose to move on from past sins, failures, or mistakes by going on a journey with Jesus. Allow Him to take your hand and teach you. Learn from the mistakes that you made...and let go. Allow the fire of God to burn up any insincere motives...any area of your mind, will, or emotions that needs to be refined...allow Him to begin the process of refinement. It may be painful at first...but He's gentle and He loves you so much! He loves us so much...So much that He's not ok with us simply forgetting about all of our failures and brushing them off...never to learn from them...There's no growth there. He loves you so much that He desires intimacy with you...He doesn't want those mistakes to keep happening...He doesn't want your emotions...anger...hurt...fear...sadness...to dictate how you live your life and keep you from drawing nearer to His heart.

I'll share with you for a couple minutes from my own journey of consecration...One thing that I've been working on recently and part of the many things God is teaching me through a recent situation is that we have to love with the kind of love that the song from above talks about. "This is not about what you've done...but what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been...but where your brokenness leads you to....This is not about what you feel...but what He felt to forgive you...And what He felt to make you loved..." We are called to love with the love of Christ. We are called to love with the same love that Christ had when He chose to die a ruthless death on a cross for us. That kind of love isn't based on circumstances...It's not based on emotions...It's not based on how others act...It's not based on anything but the heart of God. I just want to encourage you for a minute...The situation that I have been going through recently has taught me so much about myself. Through all of the emotions that I have experienced...I realize that letting go and handing all of those failures...all of those mistakes...all of those hurts and disappointments to God is the most healing thing in the world. It's through letting go and surrender that God can begin to teach us. God didn't give me the luxury of just forgetting about the close friendship that I lost. Honestly...I couldn't ever forget about the friendship...because it was so special to me...But He didn't give me the luxury of pretending that none of it was my fault and simply moving on. I told you I was going to be very honest with you guys in this...And...I want to do that simply because I think that by seeing a little of the process that God has been taking me through...you will be encouraged to go on your own journey of consecration. 

You know...sometimes...it's when everything falls apart...when you're standing alone...that you have the chance to look in the mirror. When everything falls apart and the ruins of something you cared about so deeply lay all around you...you have two choices..."Do I simply move on and brush off the past...forgetting about it?...OR..Do I allow the Holy Spirit to take me on a journey in which I learn from this pain...and have to look in the mirror at my own mistakes?" Ultimately...we are responsible for our own hearts before the Lord. Many times the enemy wants to keep our focus on what others do around us that is wrong...and there is a definite place for that...But...only you know your own heart, and only you are responsible for your own emotions and actions. Only you know the mistakes that you make...only you know the motives of your heart...and only you know the depth of your emotions. On this journey that God has been taking me through...I've had to learn to forgive even when I didn't feel like I wanted to...Because Christ forgave me even when I didn't deserve it. I've had to learn to love unconditionally...because that's the love in which Christ has for me. His love has been overwhelming in my heart. I've had to learn things about keeping my emotions in check even when there have been super painful nights. All of these things are things that I would have never learned if I didn't allow God to take me on a journey. Some of the things that God spoke to me were hard to hear...It's not always easy to be refined. But...throughout this whole process...I realized that there were many areas that I was wrong. There were many areas where I lost focus. There were many things that I could have done differently. And...the journey has been the most rewarding...because I have grown so much closer to Christ. 

So...In wrapping this up a little bit...I just want to encourage you...if there are areas in your life that are unrefined...situations that aren't right...trust God. There may be nights of your journey like mine...where you are so broken that you don't even know what to do. Maybe you feel so sorry for things that happened...Maybe you feel so disappointed that things didn't turn out how you wanted them to...Maybe your heart breaks for that friend in your life who's no longer there...or the one that you love so deeply who doesn't care about you or doesn't want to try...Maybe you wish that someone in your life cared about you as much as you care about them...Maybe your sad that things aren't the way you thought they were...Maybe you regret things that happened...Whatever you may be feeling...Give all of that to Jesus...Hand all of that pain to God. If there's things that you need to repent for...repent. If there's people that you need to heal things with...do your best to heal things. But...be honest during whatever steps you need to take. Keep loving with the love of Christ...even when it seems like it doesn't matter or no one cares. Keep praying for that situation in your life...Keep standing up for truth...  Dishonesty and fakeness hurts more than anything...This is a journey of honesty...Not only do you deserve to be honest with yourself...God deserves you to be honest with Him...and the people that may have been affected by your actions deserve that honesty as well. Remember...this is a journey that you commit to go on with God...and, you are responsible for your heart. You can't change what other people choose to do...whether or not they even care about you...whether or not they are honest with you or ask for your forgiveness...You can't control anything but your heart before the Lord. And please hear me...this isn't about condemnation at all. Where the Spirit of the Lord is...there is liberty. And...it's about freedom through the journey. There is so much freedom in handing God all of your pain, fear, or regret. This is an exciting journey...because through it all...you'll be closer to Christ! :) 

This process of consecration definitely has its pain...but it's the most rewarding thing in the world. It's a journey of drawing nearer to the heart of Christ in which the enemy is defeated. Handing God our emotions, our minds, our bodies, our decisions, our failures, and mistakes and choosing to go on a journey of consecration defeats the enemy in our lives...Because no longer does he have reign. Let's decide tonight together that the enemy isn't going to dictate the way we live our lives by taking advantage of unrefined flesh...or unrefined emotions. We are the righteousness of God...We are more than conquerors...We are overcomers! And every step of consecration...of giving yourself fully to Christ...are steps of victory! Let's end 2010 and go into 2011 with total victory!

I know this was long and intense...and I really hope it ministered to some of you. Feel free to comment...

Love you guys,

-Joe

A Word of Thanks...

So...I’m not actually writing a super long note tonight...like normal. I just wanted to express a few things on my heart. There is definitely more to come as I go through the process that God is taking me through right now. Anything that I think is worthy of sharing with you guys that will possibly help and that I can share...I will definitely share throughout the next couple of months. God is definitely walking with me through something right now...unlike anything that I've gone through before. And although the process is painful and a lot of things still have to be revealed by God...I know that this is something that God is taking me through so that I can be at the place that I need to be for Him. This is a season of refining for me and of letting the flame of God's love and Spirit burn away anything in my life that is getting in the way of my relationship with God...So...I think that's all I want to share tonight as far as what I'm going through...but...the reason why I wanted to write tonight was simply to express the cry of my heart to God tonight. 

I think it's so easy to be hurt or confused. It's so easy to be bitter...so easy to get angry. And..sometimes those emotions aren't necessarily something that we should avoid. Sometimes those emotions help in the healing. But...tonight...I don't want to talk about all of that. I don't want to express hurt or pain or confusion. I simply want to express thanks to God. This is the cry of my heart...

"Thank you Jesus for great friends who love You more than they love life and love others as much as they love themselves...Thank you Jesus that there are true men and women of God in my life. Thank you for placing them there for a specific purpose and time. Thank you for the opportunity to pour into their lives as they pour into mine. Thank you for sincerity and truth and wisdom. Thank you for new beginnings. Thank you for peace that passes all understanding...Thank you for healing that goes beyond anything that we could get from anything or anyone else but You...Thank you for restoration...Thank you for the promise of a future filled with You and greater things. Even in pain and confusion..You are God and I am so grateful for that. Thank you Father for forgiveness...for the ability that we have to forgive those who hurt us....And God...thank you for trials. Thank you for trials and situations that test our faith...that make us cling closer to You...that make us realize that You are God, and we are not, and only You are totally good. Thank you for ORU...for the opportunity to get an education at the most awesome university in the world. Thank you for men of God here that desire You more than anything else...who fight against injustice...and stand up for the hurting, broken, lonely, and weak. Thank you for women of God who stand up for purity and aren't ashamed to take the sword of the Spirit in their hands and fight the lies of the enemy. God, I am so thankful for You tonight. Thank you for taking away sin and replacing it with unmatched...incomprehensible freedom and purity. Lord...thank you for sweeping me away in Your love. I understand that this is a process and that anger, fear, hurt, pain, and confusion are emotions that...through your love and refinement and giving those feelings to you...will bring healing. But...tonight God...none of those emotions matter. I just want to say thank you in the middle of the storm. Thank you for being with me in the valley. Thank you for your unfailing love that penetrates deeper than any wound...any rejection...or any pain. You are God...and You are my Love. I trust in You God. You are my Portion. :)"

Ok...guys...so I know this was a little different and probably a little weird, but I just really felt led to express my heart. Sometimes you just have to let all of those negative emotions drive you to be grateful. Be grateful for the great things God has put in your life. You are not alone in pain...in hurt...in confusion. You and I have a God who loves us so much, and who never leaves us hurt and wounded. His love is consuming and renovating. Let Him love you...and take you through the process of drawing nearer to His heart. Just like the journey I talked about in my last note...Grab His hand...and get ready for the most intimate journey of your life. If you're going through a hard situation...thank God for the things He has given you...and grab His hand, being prepared to dig through some intense, sometimes painful emotions...But...His love is bigger than all of that...and the other side of the process is better than anything you could have imaginied. Let's just trust Him together...:)

Goodnight Guys,

-Joe

The Journey

Man...I'm not even sure where to begin tonight. The love of God is so strong upon my heart, and there are so many thoughts that I hope to express. How do you even express the love of God...the unchanging, uncompromising, never-ending, eternal, transforming...love of God? How can you describe the love that God has for His people. It's impossible to explain...impossible to comprehend...Even after feeling His love, it makes it even harder to express...So, I'm going to do my best tonight to share what God has placed on my heart.

A friend and I went to Rhema Church tonight, and I can't even begin to express how amazing it was. Just a short little set-up to the story...We didn't even know where we wanted to go. I just felt God lay a mission on my heart...Go to a place where I could meet with Him and He could work on my heart. My only goal was to go somewhere and worship God...rest in His presence...allow His truth to penetrate my heart. We ended up going to another church and before the service started felt that God wanted us to go somewhere else...So we just started driving...and went to Rhema. :) And...this is the story that follows...lol

Geez...I'm having a hard time expressing myself tonight. I feel the love of God so strongly. The only thing that I want to do is worship and spend time with the King of Kings...The service started with awesome worship...God was definitely present and His Spirit was moving mightily. The speaker started ministering, and it was like the Holy Spirit just fell all over the congregation. I was sitting there listening to him with cold chills shooting down my spine. He was ministering about the power of God and the ministry of Paul. He was talking about the miraculous and how God is just waiting for us to step out in faith and receive all that He has for us. He shared that through the power of preaching the Word of God, people should be set free, delivered, healed, and made completely whole. He said that signs and wonders and miracles should follow after the Word of God being preached. We shouldn't be chasing after signs and wonders...the signs and wonders should be following us as we minister...He began to preach on the joy of the Lord and how the Holy Spirit comes in and gives us true happiness. He began to call people up that the Lord led him to pray for and they were healed. He prayed for tumors, and lines and lines of people came up to the front to receive prayer. The Spirit showed up in a huge way and was ministering to people all around the room. It was absolutely amazing...You could hardly stand in the presence of God. People were laughing and so joyful in their worship to God, and I could literally feel shackles breaking off of my heart. It was so amazing...The presence of God was so strong.

And...I only said all of that to set the stage for all of the things that I hope to express tonight...As many of you know, this first semester of ORU has been extremely challenging for me in many ways. I've been struggling with a situation that has been hard and very confusing. Even up until today, I was angry, upset, and hurt. I'm not saying that all of that is completely gone, and that there is not anymore healing left to experience, but tonight definitely changed my whole outlook on everything. I just want to take a few minutes to encourage you tonight...No matter what you are going through...No matter how many times you are hurt...No matter how many times you feel alone...No matter how many times the enemy knocks you off of your feet...It is never too late for the love of God to come in and invade your heart.

As I've said many times, NOTHING else matters except our relationship with God. We have been placed on this earth to minister to the broken, the sick, the hurting, and above all, the lost. We have been called to set the captives free, to loose the bound, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked...One thing that I've been really thinking about lately is the kind of relationships that Christians in America, even here at a Christian university have with people and with God...and how we spend our time. We spend all of our time planning out our days...doing school work...hanging out with friends...watching TV...spending time on the internet...We do all of these things that we feel are so important to us, but what we don't understand is that...although those things are not necessarily bad, they sometimes get in the way of our relationship with God...I was just at a place tonight that I was so sick of all of those things...so sick of school...of relationship issues...of all of the pressures of life. My spirit was hungry for God...So many times, we spend 20 minutes with God, and go down to our rooms and spend 3 hours doing homework or hanging out with friends. God has just really been showing me how twisted this is. We're taught..."Just make sure you spend your quiet time with God, and everything will be ok...You need to spend ALL day working on studying for that test...You haven't hung out with your friends in two days, and you really need to spend time with them." As I said earlier, these things aren't bad at all...But...our sole purpose and destiny is to bring glory to God with how we live our lives. God has placed us on this earth for a very specific purpose. He has called us to great things, and He desires our communion with Him. How would it feel if your best friend decided, "No...I'm going to spend 5 minutes with you today cause I have other stuff to do, and you're not really that important." And...this happened day after day...? This person wouldn't be considered your best friend after months of doing that. And...if you think about it, God is the GREATEST best friend. He is our King. Our Creator. Our Shelter. Our Defense. Our Love. It must break His heart to have such a small place in our lives. I'm not just preaching to all of you guys. I am just as bad as anyone else about this, but I feel God speaking to me very powerfully tonight about this.

God wants ALL of us! There is a perfect plan that God has for each and every one of us that is so great that it can't even be comprehended. Tonight as the speaker was speaking, I could just feel the power of the Word flowing out of Him...He had filled himself with the Word of God and was full of the Holy Spirit. I couldn't help but think God, "How do I walk in that anointing God? How do I walk in that kind of authority and power in Your name?" And...I heard the voice of the Lord so clearly say..."You go on a journey with Me. Come with me and meet with me. Place Me above everything else in your life. Take a journey with Me into my Word. Walk in My presence...Spend more time with Me than you do anyone or anything else in your life. Become a student of My love...Hear My voice...and obey...no matter what the cost." I've been hearing God say that for many months now as I've reflected on my time here at ORU so far. So many times we let circumstances and situations...our quest for acceptance and popularity...and our love for worldly things get in the way of our relationship with God. God wants us to walk in the miraculous. He wants us to minister out of the fullness of His Spirit inside of us...Everything that God is...Healing...Deliverance...Salvation...Forgiveness...Love...all of that is inside of us. We have been given every spiritual tool to come against anything that the enemy throws our way. And...we are called to minister out of the well of the anointing of God inside of us.

None of that junk of the world matters. All of it is going to pass away. Everything that is so important and so consuming to us now will mean nothing in eternity. I've been thinking about that so much lately. All of our arguments...our pretentious goals...our quest for "rightness" means nothing. The only thing that matters is our love for people...how we treat them in times when they need us most and above all....God and how we allowed Him to use us to bring great and lasting change to the world.

There is an awesome journey that God wants to take all of us on. It's a journey of falling in love with the King of Kings...Falling in love with him more than the world...more than your friends...more than your education...more than your popularity or your desire to obtain a high status. This journey is a journey of intimacy...It's a journey of commitment no matter what the cost. And...God has been reminding me that it does come at a high cost. It does take sacrifices to obtain...because sometimes when you stop spending those 4 hours a night with your friends...you might lose some of them. Sometimes when you stop going to the coolest places and hanging out with the coolest people, you stop being considered cool and popular. Sometimes when you decide that God is more important to you than anything else and that He deserves ALL of you...Situations change in your life. And...that's ok. Jesus never promised that the road would be easy. He actually said that the road would be narrow and that few would find it...But...I can promise that if you make a commitment to go on the journey with Him of digging in to His Word...falling on your knees before Him in worship...letting Him speak life and identity into you...letting Him affirm you...and forsaking every worldly pleasure that keeps you from Him, you'll find that narrow road, and God will use you mightily for His kingdom. But...there is an exchange. Our life for His. When we become a Christian, we no longer get the rights to the driver's seat of our life. We no longer get to have the popularity that we once had...the time to do whatever worldly thing we want to do...He has to become first. And this is something that I'm learning more and more everyday.

In America today the church has almost been more harmful than helpful. "You can be a Christian and come to church twice a month...You can be a Christian and spend hours and hours with your friends hanging out and doing other pointless things...You can be a Christian and long for acceptance and affirmation from those around you and the world...Just make sure that you spend 10 minutes with God a day. At least read a daily scripture." And...all of these things aren't necessarily wrong. You can be a Christian and do all of those things...But is that really the life that Jesus modeled? Is that really the kind of exchange that the King of Kings, who was beaten beyond recognition, and crucified for you and I deserves? I mean...I know that all of that is not talked about today. The church doesn't want to speak like that because it might turn people away...But...Honestly, God deserves all of us. He deserves way more than we could ever give Him. And...He's waiting for us to turn away from all of the junk of the world and other weights that are holding us back and run after Him.

God wants more than anything to minister through our brokenness. He wants to set the captives free, to restore sight to the blind, to bring deliverance to the oppressed, and to bring the good news of salvation through us. And...just like the service tonight...God will show up and minister to people in a very powerful way when we seek Him first...when we fill our well with nothing but Him. He is worthy and deserving of way more than the mindless worship and "fast food" mentality that we give Him. He's not just a quick fix. He's everything that we can't be...He's Almighty...He's El Shaddai, He's Addonai...He's Healing...He's complete Deliverance and Wholeness. He's Joy. He's Rest. He's Peace. He's a true Best Friend who will never leave or forsake you. And...He's waiting to reach out and grab your hand and take you on the most fulfilling, consuming, intimate, and crazy journey of your life...not only for you but for the many that your life will touch. Will you go with Him?

I'll leave you with this passage of scripture from Amos...in the Message Bible...(Amos 5:21-24)
"I can't stand your religious meetings. I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions. I want nothing to do with your religion projects, your pretentious slogans and goals. I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making. I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music. When was the last time you sang to me?"

Feel free to comment...

Goodnight Guys,
-Joe