There has been a song on my heart the past couple of weeks that I knew God wanted me to put in this note. I wasn't really sure why I needed to include it until tonight...but I just felt God telling me that this was to be included in this blog. It's a song called "You are More" by a band called Tenth Avenue North that has been playing on Christian radio a lot recently. The words to the chorus of the song say..."You are more than the choices that you've made...You are more than the sum of your past mistakes...You are more than the problems you create...You've been remade..." Man...how awesome are these words!? This song is so encouraging, and it wasn't until tonight that I felt like I heard exactly why I needed to share it. It's actually ministered to me so much the past week, and I want to share honestly...the things on my heart regarding the song and maybe encourage you a little bit.
I wrote a blog at the very beginning of this year about the year 2010...and how I believed that 2010 was going to be a year of victory...victory over sins...over past failures...over everything the enemy wanted to destroy us with. I also mentioned that it was the year of new beginnings...new friendships built by God...new hope...among many other things...And...I believe with all of my heart...2010 was the year of victory for me. I believe that there were moments that weren't victorious...but I think that God confirmed His word, and victory was experienced in many areas of my life. I hope that you were victorious in many areas as you went after God with all of your heart too. :) But...the reason why I'm writing tonight is just to encourage you about those areas that may have not been so victorious. I think the biggest thing the enemy wants to do sometimes is get us so focused on our mistakes and our failures. If he can get us focused on areas where we weren't "more than conquerors..." or areas where we didn't feel like an overcomer...he can slowly make us believe that we can't conqueror or overcome anything. He then makes us believe that we aren't conquerors at all. And...I've felt the enemy time and time again the past couple of months and especially the past few weeks try to bombard my heart with reminders of past failures...of mistakes...of disappointments. And...the words of that song are so true. If there's one thing the enemy doesn't want us to hear or get down deep into our hearts...it's the words to that song. Because the truth is...You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the problems you create...No matter what happened in 2010...no matter how many stupid choices you made...no matter how many times you felt like a failure...no matter how many times everything around you looked like it was laying in ruins...You are not a failure. You have been remade...The bridge to the song says, "This is not about what you've done...but what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been...but where your brokenness leads you to....This is not about what you feel...but what He felt to forgive you...And what He felt to make you loved..." Man...I love that! I'll come back to that in a minute.
If you've been reading any of my blogs the past month...you know that God has been taking me through a journey...of trusting Him above everything else. I've been going through something that has been painful at times...and has been very confusing. If you'd like to know more about that...you can read a couple of my previous blogs...but that's not what tonight is about. The only reason why I mentioned the process is to give you a picture of what I was talking about above. Throughout this process of trusting God and looking over the past couple of months...looking at relationships that meant so much to me at one time that have ended...looking at my choices and things that I put in front of my relationship with God...This has been a time that God has really spoken to me powerfully about who He is through all of that. What I want to try to express to you tonight...(And...I'm not doing a very good job)...is that whatever areas that you failed in...there is hope. Don't let the enemy tell you that you are a failure. Don't let your present circumstances...or your situations dictate the amount of faith you have in the healing power of Jesus. One other thing that I feel led to share is that the enemy's favorite tactic is to play with your emotions...Don't let your emotions dictate the way you act or the way you respond to God.
I think there's a dangerous line between brushing off the past and forgetting about it...and brushing off the past and letting it propel you into a journey of healing which will place you closer to God's heart. I understand that there are times that it's easier to just forget. It's easier to simply brush off failed relationships...bad decisions...repetitive sins...and other negative aspects of your life. Sometimes it's easier to just brush it off and pretend it didn't happen. And...I think that the enemy wants us to do that because there's no growth there...But the thing that God has been speaking to me recently is that there's "power in the process" of healing from those things. Please don't misunderstand me...It's not ok to continually dwell on past mistakes...to hold onto past failures and disappointments so much so that they keep you from getting closer to God...But...something that God has been speaking to me recently...and this may sound really intense and make you stop and think...but I felt like God told me the other day..."Sometimes Joe...you don't get the luxury of brushing all of that off of your shoulder and forgetting about it...There's a journey that's waiting for you in healing from past mistakes...and failures...And, it's not that you hold on to them...It's not that you don't give them to Me and let go...But...in order to become the consecrated vessel that I have called you to be...We're going to have to go on a journey where I teach to some things here. There's some things that you have to learn from this...And forgetting about it demeans the sacredness of it." And...maybe that sounds weird to you...Maybe it doesn't really fit into your grid of the "loving...compassionate...never-step-on-your-toes Jesus"...But...remember...God loves you so much that He's willing to tell you what you need to hear even when you don't want to hear it. We serve the God who's name is Love...but His love also compelled Him to walk into the temple and turn over tables when defilement, injustice, and idolatry were present. So...there is a definite line between brushing something off of your shoulders...never to think about it again...and brushing something off of your shoulders and giving it to God...then allowing Him to take you on a healing journey of consecration and total surrender to Him.
I can tell you with the things that God has been doing with me recently...It's not an easy journey. Maybe you're looking over 2010 and thinking, "Man...if I choose to go on that journey with God...If I choose to open up my heart and allow God to see all of that negative...yucky...stuff...I'm afraid of what He may say." I just want to encourage you a little bit...If there's one thing that I've learned the past couple of months...It's that God desires honestly more than He does us trying to keep things from Him. Nothing is never really hidden from Him anyways...He sees your heart...He sees your intentions and your motives...and no amount of fakeness is going to cause Him to not see that. We can't really hide anything from Him in the first place...So...I want to encourage you tonight...Be honest with the Lord...Choose to go on that journey. Choose to move on from past sins, failures, or mistakes by going on a journey with Jesus. Allow Him to take your hand and teach you. Learn from the mistakes that you made...and let go. Allow the fire of God to burn up any insincere motives...any area of your mind, will, or emotions that needs to be refined...allow Him to begin the process of refinement. It may be painful at first...but He's gentle and He loves you so much! He loves us so much...So much that He's not ok with us simply forgetting about all of our failures and brushing them off...never to learn from them...There's no growth there. He loves you so much that He desires intimacy with you...He doesn't want those mistakes to keep happening...He doesn't want your emotions...anger...hurt...fear...sadness...to dictate how you live your life and keep you from drawing nearer to His heart.
I'll share with you for a couple minutes from my own journey of consecration...One thing that I've been working on recently and part of the many things God is teaching me through a recent situation is that we have to love with the kind of love that the song from above talks about. "This is not about what you've done...but what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been...but where your brokenness leads you to....This is not about what you feel...but what He felt to forgive you...And what He felt to make you loved..." We are called to love with the love of Christ. We are called to love with the same love that Christ had when He chose to die a ruthless death on a cross for us. That kind of love isn't based on circumstances...It's not based on emotions...It's not based on how others act...It's not based on anything but the heart of God. I just want to encourage you for a minute...The situation that I have been going through recently has taught me so much about myself. Through all of the emotions that I have experienced...I realize that letting go and handing all of those failures...all of those mistakes...all of those hurts and disappointments to God is the most healing thing in the world. It's through letting go and surrender that God can begin to teach us. God didn't give me the luxury of just forgetting about the close friendship that I lost. Honestly...I couldn't ever forget about the friendship...because it was so special to me...But He didn't give me the luxury of pretending that none of it was my fault and simply moving on. I told you I was going to be very honest with you guys in this...And...I want to do that simply because I think that by seeing a little of the process that God has been taking me through...you will be encouraged to go on your own journey of consecration.
You know...sometimes...it's when everything falls apart...when you're standing alone...that you have the chance to look in the mirror. When everything falls apart and the ruins of something you cared about so deeply lay all around you...you have two choices..."Do I simply move on and brush off the past...forgetting about it?...OR..Do I allow the Holy Spirit to take me on a journey in which I learn from this pain...and have to look in the mirror at my own mistakes?" Ultimately...we are responsible for our own hearts before the Lord. Many times the enemy wants to keep our focus on what others do around us that is wrong...and there is a definite place for that...But...only you know your own heart, and only you are responsible for your own emotions and actions. Only you know the mistakes that you make...only you know the motives of your heart...and only you know the depth of your emotions. On this journey that God has been taking me through...I've had to learn to forgive even when I didn't feel like I wanted to...Because Christ forgave me even when I didn't deserve it. I've had to learn to love unconditionally...because that's the love in which Christ has for me. His love has been overwhelming in my heart. I've had to learn things about keeping my emotions in check even when there have been super painful nights. All of these things are things that I would have never learned if I didn't allow God to take me on a journey. Some of the things that God spoke to me were hard to hear...It's not always easy to be refined. But...throughout this whole process...I realized that there were many areas that I was wrong. There were many areas where I lost focus. There were many things that I could have done differently. And...the journey has been the most rewarding...because I have grown so much closer to Christ.
So...In wrapping this up a little bit...I just want to encourage you...if there are areas in your life that are unrefined...situations that aren't right...trust God. There may be nights of your journey like mine...where you are so broken that you don't even know what to do. Maybe you feel so sorry for things that happened...Maybe you feel so disappointed that things didn't turn out how you wanted them to...Maybe your heart breaks for that friend in your life who's no longer there...or the one that you love so deeply who doesn't care about you or doesn't want to try...Maybe you wish that someone in your life cared about you as much as you care about them...Maybe your sad that things aren't the way you thought they were...Maybe you regret things that happened...Whatever you may be feeling...Give all of that to Jesus...Hand all of that pain to God. If there's things that you need to repent for...repent. If there's people that you need to heal things with...do your best to heal things. But...be honest during whatever steps you need to take. Keep loving with the love of Christ...even when it seems like it doesn't matter or no one cares. Keep praying for that situation in your life...Keep standing up for truth... Dishonesty and fakeness hurts more than anything...This is a journey of honesty...Not only do you deserve to be honest with yourself...God deserves you to be honest with Him...and the people that may have been affected by your actions deserve that honesty as well. Remember...this is a journey that you commit to go on with God...and, you are responsible for your heart. You can't change what other people choose to do...whether or not they even care about you...whether or not they are honest with you or ask for your forgiveness...You can't control anything but your heart before the Lord. And please hear me...this isn't about condemnation at all. Where the Spirit of the Lord is...there is liberty. And...it's about freedom through the journey. There is so much freedom in handing God all of your pain, fear, or regret. This is an exciting journey...because through it all...you'll be closer to Christ! :)
This process of consecration definitely has its pain...but it's the most rewarding thing in the world. It's a journey of drawing nearer to the heart of Christ in which the enemy is defeated. Handing God our emotions, our minds, our bodies, our decisions, our failures, and mistakes and choosing to go on a journey of consecration defeats the enemy in our lives...Because no longer does he have reign. Let's decide tonight together that the enemy isn't going to dictate the way we live our lives by taking advantage of unrefined flesh...or unrefined emotions. We are the righteousness of God...We are more than conquerors...We are overcomers! And every step of consecration...of giving yourself fully to Christ...are steps of victory! Let's end 2010 and go into 2011 with total victory!
I know this was long and intense...and I really hope it ministered to some of you. Feel free to comment...
Love you guys,
-Joe
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